Comments on: How To Be A Live Music Critic

By: Sam

Sam — Fri, 22 May 2009 04:25:21 +0000

Def. agree on all comments relating to getting drunk. I’ve frequently woken up the morning after wondering if I’d even written the review let alone made the deadline.

By: Tal

Tal — Mon, 11 May 2009 12:17:12 +0000

You may leave before the headliner finishes their set if you’ve taken on the review as a ‘favour’, to impress girls, or if it turns out the band is awful. I mean unless a member dies onstage you’re not missing anything important, are you? And if they did, you’re sure to hear about it before the review is due, right?

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 13:33:06 +0000

Oh wow, I hope you haven’t read any of my reviews.

By: Philippe

Philippe — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 13:14:49 +0000

Brilliant stuff Andrew!

Comments are awesome too.

By: Stuart

Stuart — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 23:23:54 +0000

- When a music reviewer is asked about a gig by friends 2-3 weeks after the event, they must open by saying “well, as I said in my review…”

By: Scott Esdaile

Scott Esdaile — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:27:52 +0000

You must not, ever, try and make small-talk with the sound guy.

Or dump on the band because of a few one-off things that might have happened with the live sound.

Feedback happens.

And if you ever come to a gig that has a horn section - at least try and make some musical comment that contains specifics about the type of sound. Don’t just go for cliche ‘wailing horns’, ‘james brown stylez’ - try and show that you have some understand of musical instruments beyond just guitar, bass, drums.

For example:
*terrible reviewer - there was a sax

**crap reviewer - there was a tenor sax

***better reviewer - there was a tenor sax that played in the walls-of-sound style of John Coltrane.

****Jazz reviewer - there was a 1959 Selmer MkVI sax with original gold lacquer and a vintage Florida Otto Link mouthpiece that blended the ripping sheets-of-sound style of Coltrane, with the subtlety and exqusitiely warm tonality of Dexter Gordon (post amsterdam era), and the contemporary sensibilities of Chris Potter and Seamus Blake. Etc.

Ok, so maybe I got a bit carried away, but you get my point.

Do get stuck into anyone masquerading as a musician with a complete disregard for vocal pitch - you’re either in tune, or you’re not. There’s no grey area.

By: Nathan Bush

Nathan Bush — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:58:33 +0000

- Any show with a professional lightshow, backup dancers or at a venue larger than The Zoo must be described as one “for the kids” or “for the oldies”.

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 00:28:32 +0000

Also:
“You must take all hatred from band’s you have slagged with complete professionalism and not justify/dicuss your critique with them. Your decision is final and your word, as one opinion amongst the oh-so-many, in a mass of many other 20-something year olds, is obviously the be-all-and-end-all law.”

had a friend in a v well known Sydney band tell me that he reviewed for major mags for 5 years and gave others shit reviews to make his band look better!

it’s all a sense of humour..

- - hahaha….

By: Andrew McMillen

Andrew McMillen — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:22:19 +0000

Haha, ‘zeitgeist-affirming’. Thanks Shan.

By: Shan

Shan — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:20:35 +0000

http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/cliched-album-review-one-word-a-time